Say cheese

Today we had couscous with dinner. Couscous can be pretty messy, so I took Wynn's shirt off. When I was helping her our of her booster chair, she had couscous stuck to her jeans, so I pulled those off of her too. Well, within seconds she had pulled off her diaper and she was naynay and screaming joyfully around the house.
But, moments later that stopped and she grabbed her bottom. "Poop" she said.
I ran from the kitchen sink and hurried her to the little potty in the bathroom.
We aren't potty training her yet, so I didn't want poop on my living room floor.
As she sat, William brought her a toy. She began to doodle..."mama, my name" she said, pointing to black wiggles and circles.
William then went and found his camera and began to take photos. "Say cheese" he said, and Wynn smiled proudly.
"Yeah" we all said. She pooped in the potty! All because of couscous.

Books

After having kids, my opportunities for intelligent input became slim and I began to feel my brain cells disappear. Pat the bunny just wasn't a stimulating read. From time to time I would sneak a book in, but not like in my past life when I would have two or three going at once, just to satisfy my complete addiction to reading and learning.

Well, I didn't' want to do any irreparable damage to my brain, so I joined a book club. Our first book was an easy read, The Middle Place, a memoir about a breast cancer survivor. It was good, but nothing too deep to think about.

I suggested our next book, The Wind up Bird Chronicles. A friend who somehow managed to keep reading despite becoming a mom recommended it to me.

I must say that after finishing it, I didn't know what I thought or felt. It was so odd, disturbing, uneventful, and yet very compelling. I still don't know if I liked it or if I just kept waiting to find out how things would end up, and I'm still waiting.

It was over 600 pages long, and in some ways I think it would have been better if some of the sub stories were left out. I think that I could have still gotten a sense of how awful, senseless and terrible war is, or humanity, or just life, without reading so many bad things. And the dream versus reality, coversations in letters and over e-mail, it all took away any empowerment and hope.

I'm still thinking about it and that makes it interesting.

Watch out for those cookies

Today William and I baked cookies during Wynn's nap. I try to do a fun project with him during nap time and baking is something that always ends in a yummy reward for our efforts.
When they were ready to eat, I gave one to him and one to myself.
"Mama, don't eat all," William said.
We both love cookies.
"Oh no, I wouldn't do that. I would get fat," I said.
I have eaten too many cookies and other things lately, so I really shouldn't have had one!
"Mama fat?" he asked.
"If I eat too many cookies"
"Mama fat and old?"
Hum...I don't like where he is going with this conversation.
"Not old yet," I say.
"Mama old, in a box?"
In a box means dead, in a coffin. Not sure if he really gets it, but we frequently drive by a cemetery and the kids would shout out "park" and "flowers". It seemed wrong, so I tried to explain that when people die they go into a box and are in the ground. The flowers are from people who miss them.
Grandma's cat was very sick and died. I tell them grandma's cat is in a box.
"Mama old, in a box, in June."
That made me laugh. He has just learned about June, it's the month his sister turns two. And apparently, the month his mother will get old and die if she eats any more of his cookies.
So watch out for those cookies...and a three year old who wantw all of them!

Long enough

My father-in-law came to stay with us for 5 weeks. Long enough for him to not be a guest, instead he was just a memeber of the family. He was here long enough for the kids to expect him in the morning at breakfast and know to blow him kisses goodnight each evening.
He was around long enough to experience my full sepctrum of moods. Fatigue, joy, chill and gumpy. Long enough for me to get used to showering in peace, while he kept the kids busy. Long enough for me to enjoy the dishes getting washed while I put the kids to bed.
And now he is leaving. And it's going to be hard to get back to live without his company and help.
We will all miss Baba Ewew.

It's the moon

Perhaps it's the moon, my hormones, my kids waking me up too many times in the night, but at this moment, I"m just not in the best of moods.

Tonight when the men of my house came home from an errand, they decided to stand between me and the TV and start to talking.

When I asked for them to take a seat or leave the room, they continued to stand there and talk crap about my show.

Why do the men in my life feel so compelled to complain about a show I enjoy watching? A show I was enjoying until they came along. I was having a nice night, I was relaxed and content. But now I am left with an emptiness and I am disappointed at their thoughtlessness.

Perhaps I'm too sensitive, or maybe it's just the moon.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I won't eat any left over Easter candy before breakfast. I'll use non-fat milk instead of 1/2 and 1/2 in my coffe and only add 2 scoups of sugar (instead of 4). I won't put so much butter on my English muffin. I won't finish eating the food my kids leave on their plates. I will eat a healthy lunch, one that doesn't come from a drive through or involve the words french fries. For dinner, I will eat a well balance dinner. Tomorrow I won't eat a snack after dinner, especially an English muffin with extra butter and jam. But maybe I'll still have an adult beverage.
Tomorrow I will walk a mile. I will do sit ups and some push ups too.

It should have been today.

Girls with tattoos

I have become acquainted with a few women who have several tattoos. Not just the standard lower back, hip, or around the ankle variety. These women have taken the tattoo art to their legs, arms, chest. They are covered with large spans of ink. And I have found them to be cool, smart, funky and fun to talk to. They are inventive and think way outside the box.

My one little tattoo, a dare and and a drunken promise, is not the kind of person I am. I am a color within the lines, follow the rules, don't get into trouble girl.

But I like knowing women who don't follow the rules. While I am not that, I feel inspired by their courage and desire to redefine what it is to be a woman.

Deer and ticks

I am a city girl. I am used to living in a small house on a small, postage stamp sized lot. In the city, a big fence surrounds the small yard and nothing bigger than a squirrel comes into the yard uninvited.
Deer used to be sweet, Bambi animals.
Then we moved to the fringes of the country, on to an unfenced acre of land.
When we first moved into our home and watched the deer walk through our yard, their lovely eyes and quite ways mesmerized us. We smiled as they ate from our bird feeder and grazed on the bushes.
We are not smiling any more. We are buying a stinky Deer Fence spray that smells like rotten eggs to discourage them from our yard and plants. The deer, once so sweet, decided that our plants were so delicious that they needed to eat every green leaf and twig. They left nothing but sticks. Now we have to fight back.
And Ticks. They used to be something I would only worry about when I was in the wilderness on a hike or camping. I saw no more than 3 ticks in the first 30 years of my life.
I have seen 3 ticks this week...in my backyard! It is spring here in Georgia and the ticks are hungry. Since we are keeping the deer away, they are looking for human snacks.
But, we have an appointment with the pest control! I am not going to let those nasty bugs harass me and my kids while we try to enjoy our backyard.
I love the open space but I didn't expect it to be such a war! Us against them. And somehow I think that nature might have an edge.

Blogging on my mind

It isn't that I haven't wanted to blog, I have things I want to say. It's just that I have had two sick kids, I've been sick, my husband was out of town and took my Internet connection with him, and I was working on a project or ten that all seemed to be more important.

Soon, my blogging will regain it's place in my evening time slot.
Till them, I will just have to have to carry the burden of not keeping it up.

The Girl I'm not

Sometimes I wish that I was passionate about issues. That I was so busy standing on my soap box, fighting for a cause, any cause, that I couldn't possibly care about who the Bachelor picks, who will be the next Top Chef, and who wins the Oscars.
But I'm not.

I am embarrassed by my shallow interests. But I pause at the grocery store to read about Jennifer Aniston's love life, Tom and Katie, Brad and Angelina's growing family, and even if Britney can make a comeback.

I do care about the environment, feeding my family healthy food, and raising good kids. I am concerned about the economy, both how it is effecting people I know and the entire world. I am hopeful to see what the new president can do for our country.

But, if I spent all my energy thinking about heavy concerns, I would be exhausted and depressed. The lighter, unimportant things just take some of the weight off my mind.

So, while a part of me would like to be a strong, outspoken woman, I am not willing to give up on the things that make me simple. I like the balance in my life, so that is not who I am going to be.

Bad Hair Day

When you buy a doll, barbie, or a pretty pony, they have perfect hair. It is so perfect that the manufactures tie, staple, and tape it down into the box. They know that once that toy is removed from the box, it will never look as good as it did while it was locked behind the plastic window.

After a few hours of play time, a toy with perfect hair has dread locks. As the weeks pass, it eats a jelly sandwich, gets blue marker highlights, will be tossed into the bath, and eventually a hair cut. Doll hair should never ever be cut!

Sometimes I feel like a toy that has been played with too long. No matter how hard I try, my hair does not want to behave. It will not lie flat, hold a curl, or have body. I can never achieve the perfect color of my dreams. And having children has even changed my hair. I once had straight hair and now it waves and almost curls in places.

Maybe someday I will find a style and color that makes me happy. But until them, Barbie reminds me of an important lesson. Even if your hair is scary, you can face life with a smile.

When I turn off the lights

At my last house, I read the electric meter each month and put out a card for the energy company. As I read the dials, I would watch the wheel spin and see the energy flowing into my house. I would challenge myself to turn off as many thingsr as I could, and see how slow I could get the wheel to spin.
I now live in a bigger house, and I can only imagine how fast that wheel spins. We have a heater or air conditioner, washer, lights, TVs, computers and multiple monitors running almost constantly.
Maybe it's my upbringing, or my hatred for large bills, but I try to conserve energy whenever I can. I keep the house cool in the winter and warm in the summer. We keep lights off until it's gloomy or Wayne complains.
As I walk through the house turning off lights, the TV, the radio, I can just imagine that wheel slowing down and I breath a little easier.

Sand in my purse

Today we were running late, so I tossed Wynn's shoes in my purse as we ran out the door.
This afternoon I was grabbing my phone out of my purse and a handful of sand came out with it.
Good thing I don't buy designer bags!

Green rain boots

William is a shy kid. Whenever I take him someplace new or introduce him to new people, he likes to hide behind my leg and hold on to me. It will take him quite a while to warm up and become comfortable.
However, he likes to wear his green rain boots. He will wear them for several days in row, regardless of the weather.
When a kids walks around town with bright green frog boots, he gets a lot of attention. Nearly everyone who passes comments on his boots. William will blush, but he smiles too.
William is constantly causing me to think about myself. We are similar in many ways. We both are particular, picky and impatient. And we both like to be recognized and noticed, even when we don't want attention.

Ants

Ants! I have hated them for as long as I can remember. I'm not a fan of most bugs, but ants are at the top of the list.

Back when I was about 6, I remember a little girl that I was playing with accidentally standing on an ant mound and getting covered with little black ants. She screamed and I was horrified.

They have always been a pest in my kitchen, refusing to take the ant bait home to the queen and kill the colony or take the hint and move away.

I have tried pepper, borax, cinnamon, Windex! They do not go away.

Here in Georgia the fire ants make new mounts after a rain. A green lawn will be spotted with red mounds of soil, all the little ants working together to push the bright Georgia clay up to the surface. Those little mounds drive me crazy!

When I spot an ant mound, even when it is harmless and far from my yard or children, I have a strong desire to kick it, drive over it, or sprinkle it with a pesticide.

I know that I am a little extreme in my dislike. I just can't seem to help myself.

Winter break

It seems that the tv shows I watch take a winter break. Sometime around Thanksgiving, they stop airing, making room for holiday specials. The lack of good TV in December is barable, there is so much going on.

But here it is the middle of January, and House still isn't back! I think I have another week or two to wait.

And Lost, a show that my husband and I watch toghether, doesn't even start it's season until the end of January.

Just a little iritating!

Simple Things

My mother in law tells the story of a Christmas when she bought my husband a big wheel bike. She spent hours putting it together, excited to see his reaction when he saw it under the tree. He liked the bike, but he spent the majority of the day playing in the box it came in.

Today my kids put rocks down a hole for a good 15 minutes. I often try to think of ways to entertain them, but they are constantly creating and finding new ways to keep busy.

It is really amazing to watch children play. They find joy in simple things. They really remind me to look at life from all angles. They see things that I just walk by.

Children can be great teachers if we slow down and look at the world from their point of view.

Fat days

In my closest, I have jeans in three different sizes.

Before babies jeans are a size 4. They are old and faded and probably a little out of fashion. I am not ceratian why I keep them.

My between babies jeans are a size 6. They are well worn, comfortable, holes in the knees.

And my post baby jeans are a petite 2. I haven't been a size 2 in all of my adult life, so I was proud of loosing the baby weight and then some.

Since Halloween, I have managed to eat a steady stream of cookies, cakes and candies. I don't own a scale, but I have probably gained 5 lbs. My "skinny jeans" hug a little too tight in all the wrong places.

It's a new year, so I am already on the road back to a good diet and a better weight. But, in the mean time I have been wearing my size 6 jeans. The extra room all around makes me feel thinner than I am.

Maybe that's why everyone is wearing extra larges these days. To hide the extra pounds behind clothes that are sizes too big. I also wonder if the entire clothing industry has made things bigger. Maybe the size 2 I feel so proud of, would have been a 4 or even a 6 20 years ago.

I don't want to think about that too much. I like thinking I am thin, simply based on the number on my pants

Owl turns head

This morning William imagined an owl on his bedroom floor.

The owl sat there
over there
and turned his head.
Look mama
Look mama
Owl
Owl turns head
Look mama
Owl
Owl turns head



When I stoop up the owl flew away.

New owl, mama.

New owl came down to breakfast with us.
New owl held William's hand
New owl wanted his own straw to drink a smoothie.
Mama said no.

William learned to share his straw and smoothie with owl.

Eventually new owl flew away.